If you’re one of the many who applied for leave, only to have the coronavirus be the pre-intermission Babuji to your Simran, fret not. Now that most borders are locked down tighter than YES bank’s beleaguered assets and humanity clenches its collective…jaw, why not take a fake-ation. A fake-ation is an introvert’s dream, a way to enjoy the benefits of a vacation while confined to your home by the coronavirus, or your borderline personality disorder. Interested? Here’s some fake-ation ideas to get you started:
- Make quarantine your beach
Did you know you can buy sand on Amazon? An Amazon delivery guy will bring you sand from a river-bed or beach, while quietly rolling his eyes around. Okay, now that you have your sand, spread it in an even layer on your bedroom or living room floor. Now that you’ve covered your floor in sand, giving your housekeeper PTSD, get a couple of potted palms and cue up some beach-y music on YouTube, et voila, you’re almost set.
The only thing missing is a luscious libation to add to the mix. Nariyal paani? No, try a cocktail instead; it won’t kill the virus but it will kill your boredom. Now that you can feel the sand between your toes, hear some mellow tunes and feel a slight buzz, you’ve successfully made quarantine your beach.
Don’t forget to send your co-workers and friends photos of your toes wiggling in the sand with some beach puns like, ‘Pandemic ke beach mein party’ or some such. Don’t worry about them calling your bluff because everyone’s too busy reading up on the latest Covid-19 updates to care.
Now that most borders are locked down tighter than YES bank’s beleaguered assets and humanity clenches its collective…jaw, why not take a fake-ation
- High-rises are urban mountains
The coronavirus has taken the “chal” out of Himachal and grounded us to the plains. If you’d like to escape to the mountains, from the comfort of your city, how about climbing to the peak, also known as the ‘terrace’ of your nearest 50-storied high-rise. We take time off to trek to the tops of the mountains, so why not climb multiple flights of stairs to reach the terrace? The uninterrupted view of blue is the same from both places, except one is closer to home and has great connectivity, and the other has fresh air. Who needs fresh air when you have a great 4G connection, am I rite?
Brownie points if you put on that winter jacket you spent a chunk of your salary on and teleconference with your team with the blue sky and bright sun at your back. Lord over the rest of the gentry working from the confines of their homes as you work from the confines of the great urban outdoors, or something like it. We call this fake-ation Himachal from home.
- Coro Na Pyaar Hai
For those of us who’d planned a romantic getaway with our significant other, Covid-19 has been a real wet blanket. For those of us who think being shacked up with our S/O means candle lit dinners and cuddles, think again. The flames of passion can easily lead to arson when you’re in each other’s faces 24×7. One way to fight this is to take a romantic picnic amidst this pandemic.
The prying, nosy hordes are all staying at home, which means a bit more privacy than normal. Use this time to plan a picnic. Wanted to take a romantic vacation to Paris? Take a fake-ation to see the faux Eiffel tower in your city and have a picnic there. We have those in many Indian cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Calcutta, Kota and Chandigarh. City not on the list? Turn any railway foot over bridge into one of those love-lock bridges by slapping a lock onto the railings. Always fancied a romantic gondola ride in Venice? We can’t help you there but love will find a way. When it does let us know how you managed this fake-ation.
If you’d rather stay indoors yet want to flex some social media muscle, check out this site that photoshops you into vacation photos from around the world. The key to a great fake-ation is creativity. Remember, when life gives you lemons, you can either make lemonade or use them to take a fake-ation to Amalfi.
